Sunday, May 1, 2011

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!

I haven't posted in a really long time, but this is a very special occasion, I guess.

Yes, I have just watched the live streaming of Obama's statement. Quoting the U.S. President:
The United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama Bin Laden, leader of the Al-Qaeda.


As millions of people around the globe, I'm thrilled and relieved and scared all at once. It's been almost 10 years since 9/11. And then, I remembered Joe.

Five years ago I decided to take part in this chain of memorials for 9/11 victims. Each blogger would write about a 9/11 victim.
"My guy" was Joe, and for about a month I got to know him, and even managed to get in touch with friends of his to write the memorial. Here's the link to it.

Today is a great day. I know this will not bring all those people back, but as U.S. President Obama said, "Justice has been done". I guess lots of moms who lost their children will sleep better tonight.

To Joe Anchundia, Judd Cavalier and all other 9/11 victims' families - justice has been done.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Leaving Las Vegas



So this was my last Saturday in the US. What better way to say goodbye to California than to come to Las Vegas? (I know, I know, Vegas is in Nevada, but soon it will be a bit more than just a short drive from home).

It's been fun, I guess I don't do what people typically do when they come to Vegas (I don't go crazy shopping or gambling or going to shows, I just like to relax, really), so I've been cherishing moments... having fun, laughing, trying to remember to take pictures (the past few times I came here I didn't take pics since it felt like same old, same old...). For the most time, I'm having fun, but then there's a quick moment I remember that it is the last Friday, or last Saturday, that in a week from now I won't have my kids to hold anymore... and just the thought of that crushes my heart and makes me cry. So then I try to think of something else.

Boyfriend (who is now fiance, but I'll just keep referring to him as "boyfriend" until he becomes hubby hihihi) has been trying to give me support... He doesn't really know what to say when it comes to the kids, and I guess I shouldn't say this but sometimes I feel like he is a bit jealous of them... but he tries to make me see things "on the bright side". Like, hey, next week you'll get to eat some traditional Portuguese pastries!!! Of course eating a traditional Portuguese pastry, as delicious as it is, does not begin to compare to having the kids in my arms, hugging and kissing and randomly reminding me that I am loved by them.
It doesn't make for Ariel trying to kiss my boo-boos away, or Alisa getting into my closet. It's not the same thing as Ava telling me everyday, when I'm leaving for work "I love your outfit, you look so pretty", or having Alec fall asleep in my arms while I lullaby him.

Anyways, I'll get to see Mom and Dad... all my siblings... pretty soon I'll have my own house with Boyfriend... but how do you go from taking 2-week-old triplets in your arms and raising them until they're 4... and then not seeing them turn 5? I wonder how the next day will feel, knowing I'm not gonna be the one taking care of them anymore, for good this time. I'm not gonna be the last person to kiss them goodnight and sing them to sleep, ever again.

If anyone knows how to do that, please tell me, because I am guessing I will have some trouble coping.
Oh, I am also taking tips on how to drive myself to LAX after saying goodbye to them.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

A Year In The Past, Forever In The Future.

In case you don't know, this is the title of a song I love, by a Canadian band called Grade.

It begins like this:
This is the time in my life when everything is falling apart, and at the same time... it's all coming together.


This is very much how I feel right now - somehow conflicted.
Don't think this is all that bad though! Leaving California (yes, it's true!) is being one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through, leaving my babies behind... even though I didn't bare them, I have been there since they were born (literally), nursing, caring, loving... and nearly 4 years have gone by, so yes - they are my babies, but ones I can't take home with me. That breaks my heart so bad, more than it has ever been broken.

On the other hand, I can't help feeling excited about getting together with my family again, spending time with old childhood friends, spending a birthday with Mom, Dad, my brother and bestie - which hasn't happened in 12 years.

Over the past couple of months I've been getting lots of messages from high school colleagues I haven't heard from since..... high school. Even my Philosophy teacher found me on Facebook and added me. So going back to my very roots makes my heart feel warm too.

And then there's the future, oh promising future.
Starting a new life from scratch, with boyfriend - who is now fiance or soon-to-be-hubby. Making plans, executing them, building a home, doing family stuff. Visiting my grandparents on the weekends, having our own dinner parties at home... starting a business, taking risks... those are all exciting things to look forward to.

It's just too bad that, in life, you can't always have everything you want.


Thursday, July 15, 2010

When You Call Me From Beyond


I remember once, when I was little, my sister and her best friend came home from a dinner party breathless, pale, totally freaking out. They said from the moment they left their friend's apartment, a tall man wearing a brown jacket and hat followed them home.

A couple of days later, my mom had coffee with their friend's mom, and noticed hanging on the living room wall the picture of... a tall man, wearing a brown military jacket and hat. After all, he was the friend's dad... who had passed away over 10 years before the event. *creepy*

Mom said that all the widow lady talked about was her late husband and what a great man he was, and how much she missed him. The fact that she hung on to him made him linger... it's weird.

But I do believe that, when 2 people have had a strong connection, one can hear the other call, no matter how far, and I've experienced it, and I've seen it happen to other people.

The only thing is, if these 2 people are apart, it happened for a reason. So maybe calling is not such a good idea...

Saturday, July 3, 2010

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Chapter 21

"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me - like that - in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day..."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you... One must observe the proper rites..."




I've been sitting here for about half hour now, just looking at the screen and thinking of a way to complement this post... but there's just no complement to "The Little Prince". All that could be said is there.
Amazing how every time I read this book, I learn something new.

Monday, June 14, 2010

The Marketing of Love

You know, the thing about having a blog and keeping it is just... being read. Sometimes, when you have things to say but feel you're not getting through to people, it just feels better to keep to one self, and maybe that's why I've been quiet for so long.

This Saturday, June 12th, was the day that Brazilian people celebrate "Valentine's Day", or just "dating day", since it's obviously not Valentine's but yes, the eve of St. Anthony's day. I personally think this is just a marketing holiday, since the actual Valentine's day is in February and Brazil is overwhelmed with Carnival at that time of the year. But this is just me ranting.

Anyways, I've never celebrated this date, so it really doesn't mean anything to me, I can hardly ever remember that it actually IS "dating day".
The 6 years I lived in Brazil (and up until now), I was either single or away from my beloved one on this date.
I then decided to, from now on, sabotage "dating day" in Brazil - boyfriend and I will only celebrate the actual Valentine's Day and, on June 12th, we'll just act as if it were any other day - in fact we might even pick a fight!

So, opposed to leaving a heart warming message, I thought I'd post instead a video with a song that has the power to break my heart by my just thinking of it.
It is so powerful, so sad and full of memories, that each time I listen to it I can actually feel all the pain and disappointment it once made me feel - talks about a love that is as big as it is uncertain.



I actually prefer the version sung by Evan Dando, but that's virtually impossible to find, so Amy Whinehouse does the trick. I don't care much for her, but she's amazing in this cover.

So please feel the pain in this video, and expect a more glittery happy post from me soon :)


trivia: did you know that this blog was once called "Will you still love me tomorrow", after that song?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bad Request

So clearly there's something wrong going on with my browser that does not allow me to post on my blog or comment on other people's blogs. Although my dear friend GAG has patiently tried to help me on every crash, I haven't really been able to fix them, due to my complete illiteracy. What I came up with was... use Safari!
So well, although I am a proud Mac user, I do not care for Safari, but as far as blogging goes - for now -, it's getting the job done! :)

Apparently blogging is not the only bad request I've made lately. I was looking forward to having my "grandma" come over for a visit and it's always a bit frustrating that she only stays for a couple of days - it always seems like such a short visit (she lives in Tennessee), so I was happy that she would finally come for a full 2 week visit.
Today it is a week since her arrival and I cannot wait for her to go back home. There is a reason why she only stays for a few days at a time, I know that now!

She's 2 hours jet-lagged (2 hours ahead of California time), and being a senior she naturally gets up early. She gets up at 6am Tennessee time, which is 4am our time. She starts trotting around the house, and because she knows her daughter (my "mom", with whom I moved in with after boyfriend left) sleeps in, and I am kind of an early bird (certainly not by option), she feels it's ok to just walk in my room at 5am, turn light on and start talking to me - by the way, she's old and doesn't hear well, so she doesn't really talk, she yells.

Monday I was in the worst possible mood because I do need to take some time waking up... and not talking to anybody. I decided to sleep in a little bit since I was starting work later that day, but I obviously didn't do that since she had the housekeeper wake me up: "aren't you supposed to go to work???"
Well, you know... I'm 28 years old, I know how to wake up in time to go to work, and if I'm not up, NO, I DO NOT NEED TO GO TO WORK.

Then she keeps asking me to drive her around all day long... better yet, she doesn't ask, she just tells me "today I'm going to the mall and get my shirt exchanged" and then she will let me know when Ms. Daisy is ready to go.

I mean, I keep telling myself "this is just temporary, she'll be here for only 1 more week.. you can take it", and I really am good with older people in general... but I just don't understand why some seniors think they are above laws, good manners, good sense and other people's right to privacy???
I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AND NOT HAVE SOMEONE WALK IN MY ROOM UNANNOUNCED!!!

Does anyone else ever have problems dealing with seniors???

Sunday, January 17, 2010

No News Is Good News... Right?

After a very busy crazy hectic 2009, this new year seemed very promising and everyone kept telling me "Don't worry, after the storm..."
Well, it seems that the storm did, indeed, go away, my former nightmare apartment is officially out of my hands since last Friday and I feel like I'm finally coming up to date with my debts.

Other than that, nothing much has been going on, really. In this mean time I guess I'll just wait for something huge (hopefully good huge) to happen! :) By the way, this is a picture taken by myself, in San Clemente, CA. I made a series of postcards with pictures of San Clemente, Dana Point and San Juan Capistrano, and this is one of the pictures in this series.

Anyways, 2010's been a mellow year for me so far, but not for many. Conan O'brien should say so - and just for the record, although I am devastated that he's actually leaving The Tonight Show, I'm not against Leno either. I really admire them both for the entertainers that they are, although I do prefer Conan's type of humor.

Speaking of the Irish devil, he "advertised" in one of his latest shows an organization that is raising some money to relief Haiti. It's called STILLER STRONG and was originally made to raise funds for a school in Haiti. Given the circumstances, all proceeds will temporarily go to emergency relief efforts to the recent earthquake victims.
Please do take the time to check it out, although it is a comedic picture, this is a very serious organization and it is very very easy to donate. I have read that the sms donations alone (a $5usd value) have already passed the $5mi mark - that's a lot of good people helping people in need. And still, that is just a small parcel of what they need.

Anyways, I should go. Tomorrow I kinda expect a visit from a certain someone here on my blog. I will let you know if this person came by :)
Have a great week y'all!

Friday, January 8, 2010

2010, finally!!!


Will this be a better year for blogging? I hope so.

Last year I tried really hard to be a "frequent blogger", but that was a complete fail... either I had no time or I had no energy to sit and write about what was going on in my life - or I was too ashamed to come and whine non stop hehe.

The truth is, 2009 was probably the worst year of all 28 years I've been in this planet. I have never looked forward to a new year as much as I did this time, and still I never got to make plans or resolutions... I was just hoping to make it through the new year - and I did. Good riddance.

Anyways, to sum up... the end of the year was quite catastrophic, my roommates broke several rules on our leasing contract which got us 4 or 5 eviction threats in the past 6 months, they illegally subleased the place to 2 other kids - one of them just happened to be a druggie, I and literally feared for my life every night when I went to sleep, because my bedroom door had no locks, they all decided they wouldn't pay for the bills and taxes and other expenses in the house, which left me with thousands of dollars worth of debt... that I am still working on paying off.

Due to all this, boyfriend could not stay here any longer... he couldn't get a job, I had been cut back to work part-time only... it was hard to support the 2 of us - so boyfriend is now back in Brazil and I'm here in California. We're a few thousand miles apart and hanging.

I moved back to my "family"'s house, it's saving me a lot of money and grief, and I can see "my" babies as often as I want - they make it tolerable to be away from boyfriend.
2009 is gone and so I thought I'd give this a new face... and hopefully I won't whine nearly as much, and post a lot more!!! :)

Oh, also... since I changed the layout, whoever wants to be linked on the side column, please leave a shout out on my comments, that would be helpful! :)

Here's a little video of New Year's... boyfriend had already left, so my family decided to go to Vegas. Those are the fireworks from Planet Hollywood seen from our hotel room.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

3 Months Late & Strange Food Craves

Is it weird that I've been overwhelmed with life to a point I can't keep up with my blog? I guess that's just a taken nowadays.

Anyways, it is a fact that I am 3 months late on my period (sorry to make you read this, if you're a man!), but it is also a fact that I've taken at least 5 pregnancy tests over this past period and all came negative. I have yet another appointment at the OBGYN next week to try a new pill and see if it'll make me normal again.

This is just one of the many things going on in my life right now. Another thing is, I am just recovering from a 1 month long illness. For the first time ever in my life I had an ear infection (viral, got it from a kid I babysat, just my luck), and for the first time in my life (as far as I can remember) I had to take antibiotics.
Let's just say my family has never been too big on western medicine so we always ended up with home remedies. But this time it was brutal, I could barely get out of bed and walk for a few days, when boyfriend decided to - literally - drag me to the Doctor.

Drama never comes alone, and as I got sick my grandma was admitted to the ER back in Brazil. I called my Uncle periodically to check on her, and as she got better and was moved to a room with a phone line, I got worse, and thus pushed back calling her. My illness had a peak on Tuesday Nov10th, when I went to the doctor.
As I woke up on Wednesday, alleviated by the drugs, my Mom calls breaking the news: Grandma had just passed away.

She wasn't that Grandma with whom we grew up with or anything, but she was Grandma, you know? And even though I only saw her once every couple of years when I was in Brazil, I miss the fact that she's not in this World.

I hate the tone of my blog lately, but does anyone else thing this year is being one of those years??? BLARGH.

While I was sick, I could barely eat and it feels great to be healthy again. But I started making soups, and although it's not such a weird crave like eating scorpions but with so many other yummy stuff to eat, why do I keep having soup cravings???
The days that I don't have soup for dinner, I end up craving it even if I have just had a juicy hamburger or a delicious pasta or korean bbq... it really doesn't matter what I eat, by the end of the day... I just want my soup.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Halloween Fail

This was the first Halloween that boyfriend spent here in the US. Back in Brazil, we don't celebrate Halloween like they do here... some people will go to costume parties between mid-October to mid-November, but I guess that's it.
Here in the US people go to town. They decorate their houses with lights, skeletons, graveyards, spiders, spiderwebs, mummies, zombies, pumpkins, scarecrows and so it goes... I decided to be part of that and I put out 4 pumpkins on my front door, a door crown with fall theme and a little scarecrow on the little garden in the front yard.



I was so looking forward to Halloween, I bought about 5 pumpkin carving sets, a booklet with pumpkin designs, and I thought this would be an experience boyfriend would like.

One week before Halloween I get sick, and although I take the week off, I take an extra job because hey - we need the money -, I spend the whole week running around sick, and when I finally stay home to rest I realize it's already Saturday, Oct 31st.

I wake up late, run to the store to buy some candy for the trick-or-treaters and also make some treat bags for my little ones, buy dinner on the way, take treats to my kids and run back home with about 7kg (15lb) of candy and 2 xtra large pizzas.
I was so frustrated that I never even got the time to carve my pumpkins, and on top of it all, boyfriend didn't seem to care at all.

Poured the candy into the cauldron and turned the porch lights on. Nothing. The house was silent, the street was silent. I go upstairs, and finally at around 10pm I hear someone knocking at the door and saying "TRICKS OR TREATS!!!" - it was Brett, our new roommate. He grabbed one piece of candy and went to his room.

What am I gonna do with 15lb of candy now?
Hey, Charlie Brown! You're welcome to come over :(

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Being 28




I've been thinking about writing this for a while, since it's been a few days since I had a birthday, I just never seem to get the time or energy to do it.

Typically, I'd skip commenting about this day since, unlike most people I know, it's not my favorite day of the year at all. I have to put up with a whole month of astrological hell before it, and then when it supposedly finally comes to an end, I get one year older.
My lack of enthusiasm over my birthday is actually problematic to the point that I sometimes fail to acknowledge that this might actually be a special day for other people, but I try really hard not to forget that.

This year, nevertheless, my birthday was surprisingly pleasant. Truth be told, I haven't celebrated my birthday properly in over a decade, and apart from the Sweden fiasco 4 or 5 years ago, birthdays have usually been a date to forget.

I guess because I have always been traveling and never really settling down, I never get to spend birthdays with who I really wanted to be... or I don't know. Facts: I haven't spent a birthday with my dad and brother in 11 years, with my mom in about 9 years, with my sis in 6 years... as closest friends go... I don't even wanna go there, since they're all spread in different parts of Europe, Japan and Brazil.

But I've been living in California for 3 years now and I guess I kinda adopted my own family here... 2, actually. They're people I care about and who care about me. I got to have 2 birthday dinners with my 2 families - and with my babies, and they were delicious meals as well.

Then there's boyfriend. I could clearly see he was making an effort to make that day a special day for me (I admit to have taken some advantage of that), and I really haven't felt this in a very long time... so instead of being a dreadful day, I cherished it to the fullest... boyfriend spoiling me, international phone calls, sms, e-mails, msgs on social networks... I guess I thought of my birthday as too much of an ordinary date, but this year, it was an extraordinary day :)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

After A While...

Before I start with anything else, let me highlight something about the title of my post: I know this poem is not Shakespeare's, like most people tend to think (for some odd reason). The author of the original text is Veronica Shoffstall and it was written when Mr. Shakespeare was long gone.

Back to my life, I was shocked to realize it's been a month already since my last post. It's just been super busy, super hectic, super... astrological hell.
In a nutshell, we're still dealing with our roommate drama, I quit one of my jobs because I hated my project manager (to a point that I considered suing the company, and I would have a case, it's just not worth the extra headache), and I am job hunting again for extra income. Over the past week I've felt a little better and it seems like it's increasingly getting better. I'll keep hopes up :)

Other than that... not much has been going on. My dear stalker is still around, glad to know she misses me. I will get to her one of these days... One of the reasons I didn't post anything before was because I did not want to write yet another post nagging about how nasty my life was being.

I need to get some time to check out what's been going on in the blogosphere... been more of a Twitter person lately. I actually need to get some time for everything lately.

Oh, boyfriend and I have just started going on a diet. We'll see. My goal is to lose around 40lb (believe me, I'm not overreacting), I just hope Thanksgiving doesn't get in the way.
Also, I have a new hairdo. I've cut my own hair since I was 11, I liked how this chanel style turned out, I just need to get it fixed on the back... the layers are kinda screwed up (very hard to cut layers on the back of your own head, specially short sized ones). I'll leave a picture for comments ;)

Monday, August 31, 2009

Nagging, Part I - The Evil Bank (of America)

One of the reasons why I was feeling so overwhelmed lately was my banking issues. I've never been too bank-friendly and I cannot understand why people cannot lead a normal life if they don't have a bank account, credit, etc. In my opinion, this only exists to give you an extra hassle, and truthfully, I only use it because I absolutely have to - nowadays you can't do much without one.

If you ask me how to make a transfer - or anything else other than deposits and withdraws for that matter -, I am completely illiterate. I only put the cash in, take the cash out and try to keep track of my money via online banking.

A couple of years ago I had to open one because of work. A couple of friends told me to open one at Bank of America, a couple of friends told me not to. Reluctantly and foolishly, I did it. I opened a checking account with BofA.

Countless times I deposited checks and they would hold it for 5-7 days... and countless times I paid overdrawn fees because of that (which, technically shouldn't be my fault since the money IS in the account). They would tell me there was nothing they could do about it, it was the system, the computers did not allow it, etc etc... Until one day I was traveling to a different country, a teller who I had become acquainted with just pushed a few buttons on the computer and voilà. No more holds on my checks. And thousands of dollars worth of overdraft fees went down the drain for me, into BofA's pockets.

They have this thing called "overdraft protection program", which is apparently, nothing more than a waste of your time (setting it up) and a trap for them to use your money for investments and still charge you for overdrafts. Yes, that's right. I had it setup IN the bank, by one of their own people... and one day I needed to use it, so I confess I wasn't particularly worried about my balance since I knew I had overdraft protection with over $500 dollars in my savings. To my surprise, a few days later when I check my online banking, I am hundreds of dollars negative, and the money in the savings account remained untouched... they never used the protection plan, and I had to use all money in my savings to cover for the fees - had the protection plan been effective, it would've been only 10-20 bucks.

But what really got on my nerves was the fact that, in about a month period they managed to take around $1,000 dollars from my account giving me the lamest excuses and arguing with me and making me sound stupid.
It started with my rent check in July. I wrote the check, a few days later it was debited from my account, but my roommate never got the money in hers. The money was lost somewhere in the banking outer space. And then BofA decided it would be fair to charge me an overdraft fee for a bounced check. Not expecting the extra $35 off of my account (that's how much they charge), I went out for lunch with boyfriend, he had macdonald's and i had something else. Then we had ice-cream. Then I bought a couple more small items. I would've been fine, but the unexpected fee made my account negative, which triggered ANOTHER FIVE OVERDRAFT FEES. Because they charge per item, and not per day.
I started calling customer service and each time they would tell me something different had happened. I talked to an expert in these banking issues and she advised me to ask for an interpreter, regardless of my speaking English. I did that. What happened? The interpreter was clearly a low-class Brazilian woman (I could tell by the way she spoke) and she didn't know I spoke English, so she started mocking me to the BofA attendant, until I said "Excuse me, I can hear you, and I can understand you too." She was speechless and they disconnected me.

After almost a month struggling to get my money back, I ultimately gave up, I paid them what they wanted just to get it overwith and told boyfriend: Do not let the account go anywhere close to $0.

One Friday, I go buy some lunch at In N'Out (which resulted in pubic hair food poisoning), and then dinner at Pick Up Stix. Then before heading home I make a deposit just to make sure my account will be covered with a positive balance, since I knew there wasn't much money in it, and go grocery shopping.
I checked online banking at home before going to bed, probably between 12am-1am. I have a positive balance of $20 even with the pending debits from lunch, dinner, grocery and a couple of online purchases I made.

"Boyfriend, I have $20 dollars left in the account, let's not touch it until I deposit more, ok?"
So that was that and I didn't even look at my online banking since it was Saturday (and Sunday is not a banking day) and I had not touched my card. On Monday I needed to check something online, and to my surprise, my available balance is not $20 anymore, it's $0. I go to the statement page, and guess what? My account is now miraculously $151 dollars NEGATIVE. How can that be???
I'll tell you how. In the hours between Saturday 1am and Monday morning, they charged me 2 mysterious overdraft fees and pulled it down under my Friday purchases - on a positive balance -, which made my last transactions negative, which made them charge me MORE overdraft fees.



I went in 2 different branches, one of them the manager gave me a paper printed at the bank where the bank was overcharging me for the transactions, and she kept repeating herself which made me think either she was too stupid to explain it, or I was too stupid to understand.
A few days later I went to the second branch, the manager was on vacation and the person assisting me said there was clearly something wrong with it - and the statement that she had on my account was already different from what the previous woman had, and what I had on my online banking. She tried to give me a refund but she said she didn't have the authority in the system.

She gave me a number I should call (customer service), and my boss recommended someone from a different branch for me to talk to. I called this person first, but instead of talking to her, I was transferred to customer service. Good enough.
I talked to a girl named Stephanie, amazingly enough the data she had in her system was again, different from what the 2 previous ones had - and from the one I had on my online banking.

She keeps telling me I was charged the overdraft fees because I was indeed negative (when I actually know for a fact that 2 Fridays before, when they started charging the fees, I was positive), and I say "No, what I see here is that you charged me overdraft fees on a positive balance" and she says I can only be crazy to say something like that. AM I??? OH AM I???? The conversation went kinda like this:

Me: Ok, Stephanie, so I'll just send you a print screen of what I see here.
Her: I'm sorry but we don't take any e-mails or faxes.
Me: Oh really? So I'll just go ahead and e-mail this to the BBB, and I would also like to have your full name please.
Her: I can't give you my full name.
Me: So can I talk to your Supervisor?
Her: .... [pause] Ok... hold please.


I was on hold for 15-20 minutes more and then disconnected.
I had given up, but then the person my boss had recommended called her, and she passed the phone on to me. She was adorable, but couldn't help me at all. Instead, I had to listen to her lecture me about controlling my expenses. And yes, you guessed it right: The statement she had was different from all the previous others. And she kept telling me "But you started the day [on Aug 7th] negative!!! That's why you were overdrawn!!!"
Indeed, she was absolutely right:


(read it from bottom to top)

But what comes before the 7th is funny too:



As I said, overdrawn on a positive balance is something only BofA can do for you. I had a nervous breakdown because of this, and I do not want to argue with anyone anymore. When I said I wanted to close the account they told me I have to pay them $250 dollars to do that (the amount my account is negative now with extended overdrawn fees) and I am morally struggling to do that, but I might just have to in order to get some peace.

I googled "evil bank" and "bank abuse" and amazingly, the first few links on websearch and image search were all Bank of America related. If you're thinking of opening a new account, DO NOT OPEN WITH BANK OF AMERICA. They will eat your money away.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Living In The Cruel World




Ok.

I just noticed it's been over a month since my last post - that's quite a lot. Still, I have more followers and people are still coming back to check on me, so thank you.
I have to be better about this.

The reason why I disappeared for a while is just because lately I've been living in a cruel world. I have no time for myself, I'm struggling with work and money, trying to keep up with my own house, dealing with some housing-related stress... and a stalker.

The stalker stopped coming around about a couple of weeks after my last post. This has happened before, this girl started checking my every move on blog, twitter, social networks... and I stopped blogging because of this - it really really bothers me. But I don't think I should go out of my way because of this, right? So I've decided, back to my dear blog and if she bothers again, I'll just do something about it. For example, expose her - it's a good start.

Also, I got a second job, and I am struggling to get it right but I am being pressured (although this was part-time "work at your own pace and earn what you make" kinda thing), so that makes me even more stressed and tired...

And on top of that, my roommates decided to adopt a dog without warning us, and it's illegal in our complex. So not only do we have to hide it, but we need to put up with the constant barking and loud tv (starting at 6am), and shredded toilet paper all over the house. I kinda ignore it now, but a couple of weeks ago we got to a point that boyfriend and I were actually avoiding going home - it was that unpleasant.

Oh, and to spice up my very boring and unactive life, the evil bank decided to take about $1,000.00usd from my account just for no reason at all (they claim overdraft fees) leaving me with a negative balance of what comes now to -$250.00usd, and they won't let me close the account until I pay them another $250 to cover for the negative balance. I know, how can the negative balance we way below the amount charged in fees, sounds kind of impossible. All my statements show that they charged me overdraft fees on balances at least over $80, but apparently their system shows otherwise.

And when I decide to go release my stress with a nice hamburger, I find several PUBIC hairs attached to my french fries.

Yes, it's been hard living in the cruel world...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

California Drivers, Behold!!!



Ok, I know this is gonna sound weird, but this is for me a huge accomplishment. Probably the greatest one in a very long time.

I am about to turn 28 and I just passed today on my driving test and got my very first driver's license. Ever. And yes, I live in California, to be more precise, Orange County.
How I was able to survive these past 2 and a half years in Orange County without a car, only I know.

Back in Brazil, or even in Portugal, either someone in my family or my friends would drive me around all the time. Worst case scenario, there was always public transportation, or taxi cabs in emergencies such as leaving a shopping center carrying lots of shopping bags.
Here in Orange County... I have no family, the few friends I have don't really live close by and as for public transportation... well, the closest bus stop to the house where I used to live was about 1 hour walking from home. And there was maybe 1 bus per hour with a very short and strange route. If you wanna take a cab from a shopping center or a mall, there are none outside. You have to have a number and get a real physical address so they will pick you up within the following 30 minutes.

Boyfriend and I bought an older Toyota Corolla 1 week after we got here, but even so, he had to drive me around everywhere... I hated waking him up to take me to work. Now I can just leave and let him sleep in. We'll have to juggle with one car only though, hopefully until the end of the year we'll have bought our second car.

The big deal here is that up until the beginning of this year, I was terrified of driving.
When boyfriend or my sister were driving, I'd sit in the passenger's seat and be a good co-pilot (at least I think so), and I can see everything around... but when I sat in the driver's seat... I just blocked. I could see nothing, I had no perspective. The car was such a huge intimidating monster.

Boyfriend started taking me out to drive in Brazil, but I only felt comfortable after a few weeks driving here.
I'm pretty confident driving now, considering my fear before... but it truly is a big relief to finally get a driver's license!

I'll probably write a post later about the exams, since they were very marking experiences. Await...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dreaming My Dreams

Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...

I just got an e-mail with this picture. It was taken about 5-6 years ago by my ex at his former house, where he spent his College years. I love this picture... it kinda brings back nice memories, to see me laying there sleeping so peacefully with... my plush dolphin.

Yeah, this was the reason for a tease during many many years by my family, friends and (ex)boyfriend.
You see, since I was little I've had this thing for dolphins. I think they are such sweet creatures and I guess it's impossible not to love them. I confess, I even have the most clichè tattoo of my time: a dolphin in the groin.

Anyways, I think I was about 14 or so when I got this plush dolphin for my birthday from one of my best high-school friends. We named him "Golfo".
Since that day, I slept with him every single night. I could not cope with not sleeping with him, even when I went to my (ex)boyfriend's house.

The ex shares a house with friends, so his friends also used to tease me a lot because of Golfo. The ex and his friends would hide it around the house or throw it around and place it on a very high place where I couldn't reach (I'm 5 feet tall)...
When I lived with my parents, and also later when Mom came to town, she'd sneak out with Golfo and wash it and hang it under the brightest sun, so it would be dry by the time I went to bed. Mind you, she had to do this even when I was 24 years old.

And that was when we split. I was 24 years old, I was extremely late to take a flight to Madrid, I had just paid a TAXI to drive me from Malmö(Sweden) to the Copenhagen Airport(Denmark), and started running to the Iberia booth... only to find out I had just missed the flight.
The woman told me I could catch the same flight the next day, so I decided to leave all my bags in the airport lockers. Here's the conversation that followed this, between me and Dani (who accompanied me in this crazy rush):

Me: So where did you put Golfo?
Her: What do you mean where did I put him?
Me: Well, I don't have it...
Her: I don't either!
Me: ...


And I never even had the chance to say good-bye! :(
He was left alone in the trunk of a Swedish cab. We ran out to see if we could still find the taxi outside, but he was gone... we called the taxi company, but we weren't even sure if that was the right one.

I loved him dearly, and boyfriend even thought of buying me a new one this Christmas, but it's so hard to find a perfect replacement :(

Anyways, for more pics, click here.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The Patch

So boyfriend is on the patch now.

He's been a smoker for a few years now and he has always found it very hard to quit. A couple of weeks ago I suggested he started using patches - at first he didn't even seem to be listening but then, one fine day, out of the blue he comes up to me and says "Let's go buy patches."

This is really nice for me. When I was visiting in Brazil, he was smoking about 1 1/2 boxes per day. That's just too much. And then there was the taste of cigarettes on each kiss, the breathing, the clothes...
After we arrived in the US, I told him he would have to reduce his intake drastically, and he was really good about it.

But even so... hours after he had his last cigarette, I could still smell it, and it was unpleasant. Specially for an ex-smoker (me).

So now I'm very proud to say: BOYFRIEND'S BEEN CLEAN FOR 5 DAYS AND COUNTING! :)
He says the patches are helping him a lot, he does not feel the cig cravings anymore, he feels his breathing is better, his skin looks better and even his alcohol tolerance is better! lol.

If you're trying to quit or know anyone trying... remember the patch!

Friday, July 17, 2009

7 Sides Of My Heart

I was tagged to do this by Manju at LittleM-o-holic. I think it might be a bit hard, but here comes:

"with as much creativity as you can muster, show your heart in: a picture, a poem, a song (or piece of music), a phrase (or quote), an item of clothing, a place, and (just for fun) a Disney princess. if you want to join in, tag 6 more blogs."



1. A picture
Boyfriend probably doesn't like this one, but I do. It would be hard to think of just one picture, even because I would like to have pictures of my babies here too. Anyways, this was a very nice weekend, we were in Brazil and went over to my Uncle's ranch in a small village in the uplands of Sao Paulo. It was the first time boyfriend traveled with me to meet relatives, so it was important to me :)

2. A poem
My favorite poet(ess) is a Portuguese woman who lived in the early years of the 20th century. I will write here one of my favorite poems, I wrote this once on a letter to my best friend... it's kind of a poem about unconditional and endless love :) So... if anyone understands Portuguese... enjoy!

FANATISMO

Minh'alma, de sonhar-te, anda perdida
Meus olhos andam cegos de te ver!
Não és sequer razão do meu viver,
Pois que tu és já toda a minha vida!

Não vejo nada assim enlouquecida...
Passo no mundo, meu Amor, a ler
No misterioso livro do teu ser
A mesma história tantas vezes lida!

"Tudo no mundo é frágil, tudo passa..."
Quando me dizem isto, toda a graça
Duma boca divina fala em mim!

E, olhos postos em ti, digo de rastros:
"Ah! Podem voar mundos, morrer astros,
Que tu és como Deus: Princípio e Fim!"


3. A song
That one is easy... "In My Life", but I like the version by Johnny Cash. It gives me chills... and it describes me pretty well.


4. A phrase/quote
This one is not one of those deep, meaningful ones but I like it:
"The secret for staying young is living an honest life, eat slowly and lie about your age."


5. An item of clothing
This is a weird one...
But anyways... I used to have some clothes with sentimental value... yes, that's right. I don't know if that is weird or not, but I did, or still do. I have a very colorful scarf by Benneton that I got for my birthday in my early teens... I love it and it still looks brand new. And I also have this little wool coat that my great-grandma knitted for me when I was about 10. It was very large at the time, and since I didn't grow too much, it still fits me. It looks very old, but I won't throw it away for anything in this world.
Other than that, I like dresses. And whatever I don't need to wear a bra with, specially during Summer time. I also like skirts. Last Christmas boyfriend gave me this Ralph Lauren skirt I had been flirting with for a while.

6. A place
Lisbon.
That's where I grew up, where I spend very important years in my life, where I can find my parents, childhood friends, where I have my own special shelters and hiding spots... I wouldn't like to live there again though. I took this picture last time I was there, in 2005. It was a very memorable Summer for me.

7. A Disney Princess
Hahaha this is definitely the weirdest thing ever.
I think my favorite one is Rose, Sleepy Beauty. I had the VHS when I was little, I used to watch it over and over everyday. I knew all the lines by heart and all. I also like Mulan, and I guess feature wise, I look more like Mulan too haha.


Ok, so here was my little list... I was supposed to tag 6 people, but I will just leave it here and if you like it and want to do it too, just let me know so I can check it out, ok?